Running Times

Primarily this event is in association with Parthian Books and is the launch of Nigel Jarrett’s (yes, same surname, he’s my uncle) book of short stories called ‘Funderland’. We’re making it free to get in so you can spend all your cash on his book.

Just in case you don’t know Nigel, we’ve booked 5 (vidiprinter – FIVE) other acts too.

We’ll be splitting the night into two halves because we’re civilised and like the theatre. There won’t be ice cream but there might be cheese.

The first half of the evening will see an opening act (Joshua Caole is unable to play now) play some acoustic folky country tunes, Holly Muller (moonlighting from her band Hail! The Planes) read a short story and Kai Lena, who runs her own music/lit type night in Newport, playing her quirky, Kate Bush-y (lazy journalism, woman + piano = Kate Bush) type songs.

The second half will kick off with Rhian Edwards who is going to treat us to poetry AND song, both are excellent, star attraction Nigel ‘Mr Moonlight: Champion Of Justice, Defender Of The Innocent’ Jarrett reading from his book and generally being witty and we’ll finish up with a bit of Welsh but American West Coast influenced, man/woman harmonising, country rock band Zervas and Pepper.

For free. Did I mention it was free?

The Cardiff based male/female duo create harmonic, beautifully constructed music which both inspires and uplifts with more than a hint of the spirit of 1970s Laurel Canyon/ West Coast California singer/songwriters.

Zervas & Pepper join the wave of bands committed to song craft that both entertain and engage their audience. They find company in bands such as Fleet Foxes, Iron & Wine, She & Him, The Pierces, Wilco and Ryan Adams taking influence from classic album artists such as Fleetwood Mac, James Taylor, Crosby/Stills/Nash & Young, Carole King, Delaney & Bonnie.

‘Somewhere in the City’ is their new 14 track debut album.

Nigel Jarrett, according to Martin Amis, is someone he’s never heard of. Despite phone calls to all three, Julian Barnes, Germaine Greer and Clive James also admitted not having come across him or his work. To put this quartet of nobodies out of their misery (revise if they ring back -NJ), Nigel Jarrett won the Rhys Davies Prize for short fiction. He has been music critic of the South Wales Argus since 1987 . His poetry, stories and journalism have appeared all over the place since the Mesozoic era and were in recent issues of Poetry Wales, The Salisbury Review, Agenda, Planet and Envoi. Since 2009 he has been reviewing poetry for Acumen magazine and jazz for Jazz Journal. Parthian is publishing his debut collection of stories, Funderland, in Sept/Oct this year. The writer and critic Jon Gower says the stories represent Jarrett ‘writing out of his skin’. Alan Ross, of London Magazine, said they take people ‘out of their comfort zone’. But Jarrett is keen to reassure comfort-zone inhabitants and the skin-covered that their £8.99 for the book will be well spent on Flahavans Irish Porridge and bottles of Puligny-Montrachet Premier Cru 2001. Jarrett went to Cardiff University to study natural sciences but left without a degree. He would like to have gone to Newport Art College but couldn’t get a pair of sandals to fit and was allergic to yellow ochre. Despite the angst of working for years on a daily newspaper, his best moments were spent thinking about how many people were reading his words each night (approx 27, including a chap called Charlie who may have been stalking him). Being a man with a certain gravitas, they were mostly words of more than three syllables. He lives in M———– with his wife, Ann, a former teacher. When the novelist Anthony Burgess was given all this information he famously said: ‘So what? I couldn’t give a shit.’ But fame, elusive quantity, remains the spur.

Poet, musician and songwriter Rhian Edwards was born in Bridgend, Mid-Glamorgan. In her performance career, she has racked up over 300 stage and radio performances worldwide, including the Verb, BBC Radio 3, Latitude, Green Man, Ledbury, Ruigoord and Laugharne Literary Festival, as well as playing with her band at the Jazz Cafe, Camden Barfly, The Half Moon and Cargo.

Rhian’s pamphlet Parade the Fib (Tall Lighthouse) was awarded the Poetry Book Society Choice for autumn 2008 and Rhian’s first collection Clueless Dogs is due to be published by Seren in February 2012.

Rhian’s poems have has been published in published in Poetry Review, the Times Literary Supplement, The Spectator, Arete, Poetry London, Poetry Wales, Stand, the London Magazine, the Wolf and Borderlines, as well as various anthologies.

Rhian was crowned Poetry Idol in 2003 and won Farrago’s Best Performance by a London Poet in 2006.

Poetry-wise, her influences are: Matthew Francis, Paul Farley, Dylan Thomas, Hugo Williams
Music-wise they include: Fiona Apple, Bjork, Catpower, Nick Drake, Jeff Buckley, Tim Buckley, Mazzy Starr, Lemon Jelly, Turin Brakes, Pixies, Breeders.

“Outstanding performances that get you in the emotional gut.” Ian MacMillan, The Verb, Radio 3.

Kai Lena is an emerging artist from the North West of England with a growing fan base. A forest pixie in essence whirlygigging around with vocal melodies and soaring piano and experimentation. Mermerizing and enchanting her audiences wherever she goes with her melodic tales and messages, she gets under your skin and alerts you to a passion of the human race and quests for truth of this life. A powerful force to watch out for, could take Glastonbury by surprise with her iccle appearance deceptive of the voice that comes out and the unique piano freedom of tempo that takes you on a magical journey of delights. You will not want to stop listening because the hypnosis has taken you over with the changing times and as the shadows within begin to creep out and the curiosity gets too much for you as you breathe in the melodies of a butterfly by a waterfall where the light shimmers into the full spectrum of a rainbow.

Or something.

Holly Muller is an unpublished writer and postgraduate student at the University of Glamorgan, enrolled on the MPhil in Writing. She is currently working on her debut novel in between the day job and pool hustling. She also sings and plays violin in the band Hail! The Planes. Holly will be showing off her literary, rather than musical skills at Balloon but check out her band’s video anyway, they’re very good.

FACTS
Jamie Neasom is a relatively average size human male who has a face, arms, legs etc. He occasionally emits a soft hum in moments of changing atmospheric pressure or general tension, and uses his flexible limbs to signal distress or joy.

He is located in Cardiff at grid reference ST 1938 7731.
With little training he can be used to fetch drinks and snacks, or to provide a light entertainment at your next social gathering.

Jamie writes and plays songs (mainly short songs) and accompanies himself on guitar. He has been doing it for a while in bands and on his own, and in a number of styles, which probably points to some kind of issue with commitment. He has however been making music in his current manner – sort-of-folk with some jazziness and an overreliance on architecture as metaphor – for a some time now; this is either early onset maturity or an indicator that however much he tries he will never manage to be Prince, a sadness he will never truly conquer.

‘He makes an excellent doorstop’ – HRH Prince Charles.

For a sample of some of his skills, visit his online house at soundcloud.com/jamie-neasom.

‘David Cameron just sent me an email.’

Gary logs out of Conservativehome.blogs.com and closes his laptop.

‘David Cameron just sent me an email.’

Gary tries to make eye contact with Jason.

Gary tries to make eye contact with Mark.

‘David Cameron just sent me an email, guys.’

Howard looks up,

‘We don’t bring politics into the room, you know that. You know that.’

Gary opens his laptop.

Howard puts on MonsterBeats headphones and closes his eyes.

Howard opens his eyes.

Jason is doing facial warm-up exercises in front of a full length mirror.
Howard closes his eyes.

Jason opens his mouth as wide as he can.

Jason shuts his mouth.

Jason opens his mouth as wide as he can.

Jason bares his teeth and makes a growling noise.

Jason turns around and asks whether everyone has completed their monthly performance review.

Mark says that he has not completed his monthly performance review.

Howard says that he has not completed his monthly performance review.

Gary shakes his head and says

‘Come on, guys. You should all have completed your monthly performance reviews’

‘I emailed you my monthly performance review’ Robbie tells Jason.

‘I know, Rob. The attachment had a virus’ Jason tells Robbie.

‘Oh, did it? By the way, thanks for letting me become an alcoholic’ Robbie tells Jason.

Gary closes his laptop and stands up. Gary inhales.

‘Guys, we don’t bring conflict into the room.’ he says, making a wagging gesture with his right hand.

‘I wrote a song when I was in rehab’ Mark says.

Robbie claps his hands slowly, for five seconds.

‘Positivity is key going forward’ Jason says ‘ Positivity is key going forward because when you blame me for your alcoholism and subsequent addictions, Rob, you remind me of why I probably didn’t reach out to you in the first place. I find you very difficult to be around. I’m a lot smarter than you, I think you should know that. You have high levels of toxicity. You belittle people and then expect them to compromise their own behaviour for fear of causing you to abandon your sobriety. This is blackmail. You are a deceptive person, Rob. It’s boring. You are a very boring person, I think you should know that. I say all of this from a place of positivity, Rob, and I hope you take it that way going forward.’

Howard removes his MonsterBeats headphones and puts his arm around Mark.

‘Can I borrow your MonsterBeats headphones?’ Mark asks Howard.

‘No, you’re complicit in this situation, Mark. My arm around your shoulder is a gesture of support, not an exemption from the collective responsibility’.

Robbie sits on the sofa, next to Howard and Mark.

Robbie looks at Jason and says, ‘Thank you for telling me your truth Jason. Jay, you are callous and ambitious. This is something that you have admitted previously, and I believe it is clouding your assessment of my struggles with addiction. The inaction you speak of nearly killed me. In moral terms, you are an attempted murderer. That’s a fact. You are unable to process this guilt, Jay, and in turn, it becomes anger, which you channel in my direction. Similarly, you can be unnecessarily caustic in your appraisals; often in instances where you cannot qualify your opinions, presented as factual statements, with anything more than glib truisms. You are a man with agendas, agendas that serve only to promote your own success, regardless of the cost to others. You have been incredibly lucky in your life, and I wish you could be happy. You are a devastatingly unhappy person, Jay, I think you should know that.’

Jason drinks a two litre bottle of Brecon Carreg water.

Jason smiles.

Jason says, ‘Thanks, Rob. Thanks for telling me your truth. Please forward me your monthly performance review before the close of play today.’

Cats and Cats and Cats

Delta Sleep

Leeum Johnson

We also have Richard Owain Roberts who blogs HERE and Effort who you can listen to HERE.